(Source: glittertomb, via scumlungs)
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You're just a daydream away.I dont know how I let myself drift from people who were so close to me. For almost 5 years, they were the only people I ever wanted to hang out with. And now its like we barely know each other. But just two months ago, its like things were as they had always been. I dont know where things change, I hate that. I love those people to death. How could I of been so occupied and given my attention to someone who doesnt deserve it, i miss them. And I’m so sorry for letting a friendship just fade.
I didn’t even know I cared that much.
I don’t know what my feelings towards you are. I know I like you. And me liking you, is probably one of the best things that have happened to me so far this year. Just because you make me forget him, and thats not fair to you. But I can’t stand going back to someone like him. Someone who uses me when he realizes he has no one else. I just can’t be the second option towards him anymore. I was so vulnerable towards him, and I know I still am. Even now, when things are going so great between the other one. I know that the minute he gives me his attention i’m going to go rushing back because no matter how wrong I am for doing so, it still feels right. It feels right to speak and hug him. It’s familiar. I dont know if im inlove, because I know i dont just “like” him. Its more than that. How do you explain to yourself that the only person who can make you feel like nothing else matters but us, can be the same person who makes you feel like everything matters but me. This is such a pointless rant but I dont know who to tell this to anymore. I always hoped for us to work, for us to be something more than friends, but we won’t be. Not now, not ever. & I grew to accept that, but when he talks to me; all I want to do is listen for hours. Listen to his laugh, and just hear him ramble on and on about pointless things. I dont know how I can do this to myself. I’m always the strong one who puts walls up, making sure not one bit of them fall. But he says one word to me and it just crashes down. Im a helplessly teenager whose probably being dramatic. But I dont know if I love him, or if Im used to him. I just know I want something better for myself, I want someone better.